


Dear Him...

by DiphylleiaGrayis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Death, Romance, letter to new lover, nonidol au, not all of it I swear it's also super sweet and funny, this sounds sad but I promise it's not, well...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:15:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8038285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiphylleiaGrayis/pseuds/DiphylleiaGrayis
Summary: "His eyes twinkle and I swear you could light skyscrapers with how bright they shine."





	Dear Him...

**Author's Note:**

> This is cross posted from my account on AFF under the username FlamingBlingJongho.

Dear Him,

 

His favorite food is bubble tea; he likes chocolate the best. He'd eat it all day if you'd let him; but you shouldn't, too many sweets gives him migraines. Also, he'll never say no if you bring him vanilla chocolate swirl ice cream, his addiction isn't something you can cure. He hates spicy foods and likes his meat well done, despite that he will always forget to not to order his steak rare. You'll get to laugh as he pouts about it, even hours after the fact, every time. But you'll make it up to him by dropping off his favorite lunch to him at work— every time.

 

He likes formal dates, button up shirts and all the works, but he loves staying home cuddling to a movie. Especially if it's some cheesy comedy film and he has a bubble tea in hand. He claims he hates books, but if he finds a good one he'll stay up all night to read. You will have to get used to the sound of rustling pages and not-so-subdued protests when the story line isn’t going the way he thinks it should. The left side of the bed is his side, no negotiations—he’s a persistent one and it’s more work than it’s worth to fight him.

 

He'd rather go on walks and do at home workouts. He somehow manages to find the most upbeat and ridiculously loud pop songs to use as background music as he picks through at home workouts he’s found online. It’s a little more work, and less beneficial than going to the actual gym, but he makes it work. The gym makes him self-conscious, when he goes all he can do for days to come is compare his body to others. Overall he's pretty insecure; for reasons that are way beyond me. He’s naturally thin, his stomach flat and arms toned. How he doesn’t see how beautiful he is, well, it’s beyond me. So please, I beg you, tell him how perfect he is. He'll deny it every time and try and change the topic; just go along with it, but kiss him so he knows you're not lying.

 

He's terrible at showing his emotions. Resting bitch face? Yeah, he’s definitely got that. He keeps things bottled up, piling on problems until he breaks. He holds it all in until he’s bursting at the seams; but you’ll be there, every time, to pick up the pieces. If he's sad, you'll know. He tries to cover it up, and he’s pretty good at putting up a believable facade. He’ll smile and say it’s nothing, he’ll try and convince you it’s okay. Even when it's not, especially when he's not. When that happens you need to hug him and say he doesn't always need to act strong. Tell him that it is okay not to be okay— cliché as it is. His resting face is rather serious, cold. So when he smiles, good God when he smiles, you won't ever want to look away. His eyes crinkle and I swear you could light skyscrapers with how bright they shine. And when he laughs, it's more enchanting than any musician. Whether it's over a little joke only he finds funny or when he laughs at something stupid you've done, there will never be a time you don't stop to just listen.

 

Sometimes he forgets his tea in the microwave or wherever else he managed to set it down. There will be multiple half full cups all around your house. No matter how many you think you’ve picked up that day, there will probably be a couple others somewhere. He will get frustrated when he can't get the tea stains off of the bottom of the cup, and he'll promise himself he won't do it again. It's an empty promise at best and the cycle will repeat. You’ll just have to smile as he complains over his slowly growing tea budget. He'll also borrow you phone charger without asking, it’s not stealing (he swears it isn’t), and leave it plugged in random places. All you can do is laugh it off and buy a new one if he manages to break it again. They're old habits he can't kick, but he tries. If you yell at him for things like that he'll just smile and nod. Later he'll yell at himself and cry thinking he's an idiot.

 

He's not an idiot. He does stupid things, like the time he was late for work because he went to a puppet show or when he lit the kitchen on fire while microwaving a cupcake. But even when he does things like that, I can't help but think he's still the most perfect person I know. He wears his heart on his sleeve and puts everyone, especially you, before himself. Once in a while he'll cry over a lost kitten that makes him think of his childhood cat that ran away. But he will be all smiles when he can add that kitten’s name to the list of the others he’s helped find homes for. His familial ties are something you'll never get between. He's has only one sibling, a brother, and they hang out whenever his busy schedule allows. They’re two scraps cut from the same cloth; you won’t always understand why they’re up to or what they’re laughing about, but that’s alright, you don’t have to. He calls his mom once a week and buys his father a new watch every Christmas. Silver, never gold.

 

His feelings and health come second on his priority list. So you need to make sure he gets enough sleep. Sometimes his migraines keep him up, other times sleep isn’t something he bothers himself with. Make sure he drinks water, he can’t live off of bubble tea (although he’s tried), occasionally he let's himself get dehydrated because it slips his mind. You're not his babysitter, or his mom. He’s plenty aware he’s outgrown needing to be watched and that his mother is still around, they plan weekly dinners after all. But he needs someone to look after him once and awhile. If you don't think he's eating, he's probably not. When he was younger he struggled with eating disorders, it’s definitely still something he’s conscious of, and another source for his insecurities to stem from. He's gotten better, but oId habits die hard.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, just, please love him. Love him for his flaws but more importantly, love him for who he is. He isn't his flaws, and sometimes he forgets that. Don't let him forget just how important he is, or how much you love him. Don't shout or force him to do anything, holding his hand and guiding him will do. There's no one else like him. He loves and lives with all of his heart. His passion shows through everything he does and it’s what makes even the smallest thing he does captivating. I want you to look at him and every time think of how lucky you are to have him, because I know for a fact he will every time he looks at you. Every. Single. Time. So be loyal, he would never even dream of cheating on you; keep the feeling mutual. He is incapable of confrontation, don’t take advantage of that and take it as him letting something go. If you’ve fucked up own up. If you don’t he’ll end up thinking he did something wrong, he doesn’t deserve to take your blame so don’t make him.

 

Lastly, I want to thank you. Thank you for taking care of him. Loving him. He’s a spitfire (with hair that could probably endure fire. Seriously, how it can withstand his random dye jobs is beyond me…), but he’s worth every bratty moment. The love he gives is purer than anything else I’ve ever encountered. If you're reading this, I know you're special. You have to be; he doesn't settle for anything but. More importantly he gave you this letter. He's stubborn and second guesses himself, so it must have taken him a long time to know you're the right person. I can guarantee he’s spent many sleepless nights debating whether or not to give this to you. Not because he doesn't trust or love you, by this point he’s probably fully invested his heart into you. Whether you know it or not. The reason for his hesitation would be because he doesn't know if he's ready to be so committed to someone again and risk losing them.

 

We both knew it would happen, that I would die young. You don't grow up with someone and not know they're sick. I didn’t hide it from him either, there was no point in doing that. He was there for me for every doctor’s appointment, for all the late nights at hospital, and through all the trials for medicine that never seemed to work. He truly was the love of my life, that one special love that you only get once. If I could go back the only thing I would change is falling for him. There's nothing more I regret than causing him pain, and being able to do nothing about it. He watched me suffer, and no amount of happy memories can change that fact. Even though he disagrees, I can’t help but think he feels the same. Yet at the same time the greatest accomplishment I ever achieved was being able to call him mine, and to know I was loved by him. To say I love Oh Sehun with all I have is something I'll always be proud of. Love, not loved, I will always love him.

 

Please take care of him, because I can't.

 

Thank you,

Kim Jongin

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and tell me what you thought! I reply to all comments. Thanks for reading:)


End file.
